


you can fuck me if you want, you know that right?

by itsoperatunistic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Repressed Bisexual Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29891343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsoperatunistic/pseuds/itsoperatunistic
Summary: Cas comes out as gay before he tells Dean he loves him. Dean's got no idea what to do here.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 92





	you can fuck me if you want, you know that right?

**Author's Note:**

> basically a little drabble based on this https://donnasweett.tumblr.com/post/644850891260821504/i-think-it-wouldve-fucked-with-deans-head-so text post

Dean smirks over his coffee at Castiel. They’ve been on this case for a few days, Sam suspected it was a shapeshifter and Dean couldn’t argue with his logic. Dean insisted that they return to this diner every day, claiming it was for their coffee, but Sam suspected it was so Dean could hit on the waitress. Dean denied this, but had asked for her every morning.

“You should ask her out,” Dean says. He takes a sip of his coffee, smirk still plastered on his face. He’d been trying to get Cas to pick someone up this entire hunt. “She’s totally into you, dude.”

Castiel regards Dean curiously from across the table. He looks like he’s going to open his mouth, but keeps it closed. He looks away.

“Aw, he’s shy.”

“Dean.” Sam is glaring at him.

“What? I can’t try to get my best friend laid?”

Sam begins to speak, but Cas cuts him off.

“Have you ever considered that I’m not interested in women?”

There’s a pause. Dean stares at Cas, wide eyed. All of his thoughts seem to have evaporated into white noise. Sam rolls his eyes.

“You what?” Dean finally asks after he regains himself.

“I’m not interested in women,” he says again, bringing his eyes up to meet Dean’s. Dean has his mouth closed now, thankfully.

Dean continues to stare for a beat and then glances down at his now empty coffee mug. The white noise is still there. He opens and closes his mouth but can’t seem to find the words. As if to put Dean out of his misery, their waitress reappears at their table.

“Warm up on your coffee?” she asks, smiling warmly at Dean.

Dean lifts his head and looks at her blankly.

“I think we’ll just take the check,” Sam says, returning the girl’s warm smile.

“I think he’d like a refill on his coffee,” Cas says. He’s still looking curiously over at Dean.

Dean seems to return to himself, then. “Yes, please,” he says, flashing her a smile as she refilled his mug.

“I’ll be right back,” she chirps. She turns and walks away from the table, Dean picks his mug up and raises it to Castiel, who is still looking at him.

“Cheers,” he says, winking at him before bringing the mug to his mouth. He’s hyper-aware of the angel across from him, who now looks even more confused. His thoughts become static again and he chokes on the coffee in his mouth.

Cas tilts his head and squints his eyes. Sam shoots Dean another glare, but this one isn’t as strong. It’s full of confusion. An uncomfortable silence settles over the table. Dean squirms a little in his seat, but keeps his eyes on his mug. He can blame exhaustion for his lack of speech later.

When the waitress sets the bill down on the table, Dean picks it up and excuses himself to pay. He tosses a few dollars down and grabs his keys. He mumbles something about heading to the car before shuffling away.

Sam and Cas stare after him. Sam’s phone breaks the silence and he looks down to answer it. Cas gets up when he sees Dean leave the diner, leaving Sam to speak on the phone.

Dean settles himself into the front seat as Cas leaves the diner. He knows he’s blushing, but he still can’t seem to form a coherent thought. Well, he can but the only thought that comes to him is “Cas is gay!”

Cas slides into the backseat and glances up at Dean.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean says, a little too loudly, looking at Cas through the rearview mirror.

“Yes, Dean?”

“It’s, uh,” Dean starts. His thoughts slow down again but he works through it. “It’s cool that you’re. You know. Gay.” He takes a deep breath and drums his thumbs on the steering wheel. “That’s cool with me.”

Castiel blinks. He stares into Dean’s eyes for a moment and gives him a soft smile. “Thank you, Dean.”

Before Dean can say anything to make this exchange any more awkward, Sam climbs into the car.

“Shifter dropped another body. Let’s head to the coroner’s office,” he said.

Dean nodded and drove off. He seemed to be able to think again.

-

They were able to track down the shifter and kill him that night. Sam sustained the worst of the injuries, which was a cut on his arm. All things considered, this had been an easy night. In fact, Dean felt so great that he declared he was fine to drive back to the bunker - it was only a four hour drive and they deserved to sleep in their own beds after a job well done.

However, it wasn’t the great feeling the hunt had given him that had him ready to leave in the middle of the night. Every time Dean looked at Cas, embarrassment mixed with something else seemed to wash over his body. He’d been pushing him toward random women and he wasn’t even interested. Was that homophobic? Was he making Cas uncomfortable? Plus, he had to go and wink at the bastard after he came out. That probably wasn’t appropriate. Every time he looked at Cas the mornings events played over again in his head and he couldn’t focus.

There was no way he would be able to sleep with Cas in the same room with him. And there was no way he was going to think for too long about what that other feeling churning around in his stomach was.

The drive happens mostly in silence. Sam’s slumped over in the passenger seat, snoring softly and Castiel is looking out of the window at the sky. Dean keeps looking in the rearview mirror, desperately hoping that Cas both will and will not look at him. Dean finally clears his throat softly so Cas will meet his eye.

“So, uh. Do you want me to help you pick up dudes?”

The corner of Cas’s mouth twitches. Dean looks back at the road. “No, Dean. I don’t think that will be necessary.”

Dean nods. “You… You wanna talk about it?”

“You’d like me to talk about my attraction to men?” Cas asks quietly, Dean can hear the smile in his voice.

Dean forces a chuckle. “I don’t know, man. You know you can talk to me about it, though, right?” Dean looks nervous as the words leave his mouth. He flicks his eyes back up to meet Cas’s. Cas is smiling at him, which is a good thing. Dean hasn’t fucked this up.

“Yes, Dean.”

The knots in Dean’s stomach loosen a little. “You looked good out there,” he says without thinking.

“Thank you, Dean. You did, too,” Cas replies easily.

Dean doesn’t respond. He’d just complimented Cas. And he’d meant he’d been in good fighting form. Clearly. But what if Cas thought he was flirting. He needed to clear that up.

“I mean,” he starts. “You always look good, Cas.” That’s not what he meant to say.

Cas squints into the mirror. Dean isn’t looking back at him. “Thank you, Dean,” he says again. Softly he says, “You, too.”

Dean looks up into the mirror and catches Cas’s eyes. He doesn’t mean to, he really doesn’t, but he winks. Cas quickly turns his head away and resumes staring at the sky.

Dean doesn’t know what to say so he turns his eyes back to the road. He shouldn’t have done that. What if he was making Cas uncomfortable? Worse, still. What if he was leading Cas on? Was he leading Cas on? He’d liked when Cas had complimented him back. And that weird sick fluttery feeling in his stomach was back. If he thought about that long enough he might not be leading Cas on. Why was he flirting with Cas? Had he always flirted with Cas? Was he gay? No, he wasn’t gay he liked women. He really did. But the more he thinks about it the more he likes Cas. And he’d really liked Benny. Okay, maybe he liked guys. But what if he was sending Cas the wrong signals.

Dean pulled into the bunker a few hours later. He shook Sam awake before climbing out of the car and yelling a goodnight over his shoulder. He made a beeline for his room and had turned off the lights.

-

When Dean wakes up the next morning he smells coffee. Sam must be up already. He shrugs his robe on before he pads down the hallway to the kitchen. Sam is not in the kitchen, but Castiel is. He’s standing at the counter with a mug between his hands. He looks up at Dean and smiles.

“Morning, sunshine,” Dean says, stepping across the kitchen. He slides the cup out of Castiel’s hands and takes a sip before returning it. When he realizes what he’s done he freezes, looking at Cas.

Castiel continues to smile. “I can make you your own cup, Dean.”

Cas busies himself making Dean’s coffee while Dean’s mind runs at a mile a minute. He’s still not come up with a coherent thought by the time Cas returns. He takes the mug quietly and takes a sip.

He swallows and is quiet for a beat. “You can fuck me if you want, you know that, right?” he says.

Cas freezes and looks at Dean. Dean is staring down at his cup, mouth open.

“What did you say?”

“You can fuck me if you want,” Dean says again, looking surprised at himself. “I just thought. You should… know that.”

Castiel is quiet. He takes a step toward Dean. “Do you mean that?”

Dean squirms under the gaze, but he’s already said it twice. “Yeah,” he mutters. He’s blushing and he can’t remember the last time he blushed. He looks down to avoid Cas’s eyes.

He feels his chin being lifted. Cas has shortened the space between them. “I’ll consider it,” he says before leaning in to catch Dean’s mouth in a kiss.


End file.
